Lies I've told myself

"Today I will take the bus so that I can draw." *Proceeds to browse Instagram for the entire journey.

Christmas 2021

Christmas 2021 was lovely! It was really nerve-wracking the days leading up to the flight. Did I meet all the requirements to fly? Will I test positive the day before my flight? Will I have to forfeit my flight? Will my flight be cancelled? Will Singaporeans be allowed to enter Germany or is Omnicron going to switch things up again? Will there be curfews?

All that stress melted away when the plane landed in Frankfurt and I was reunited with the love of my life.

Had my very first German Sauna experience for Luka's birthday. We started off on the slides where I had to hold my breath and keep my cool as we popped into the winding slides. The warm baths outdoors were out of this world. Is there warmer was what I was wondering. At the Sauna, where everyone laid in baths completely naked. It was an interesting experience that started off being awkward and then turned into complete relaxation. Popping into different saunas and not lasting any longer than what Dom would like. The music sauna, aroma sauna, teeny tiny sauna, whispering sauna and the jagger sauna, packed together with Luka and his friends.

I haven't been able to relax in a long long while, always milling away. I don't think did completely relax and have never been for a long long while but I hope to find my zen one day or with practice.

The drive up to Horb Am Neckar was lovely too. I do enjoy car rides with Dom where he does all the heavy lifting and I just sit, crank up the seat warmer for my ass, make demands on needing to use the bathroom etc. Drives with Dom are freeing.

Then we have all the Christmas activities - the tree decoration, the food, the Eierlikör making, the hunting of the "wiseguy" (alcohol that I can't seem to spell), the music playing and singing, the board games and more food. Thoroughly enjoyed helping out in the kitchen. Made Knödel! The number of gifts exchanged and now equipped with the knowledge that we should prepare multiple gifts for everyone. The conversation, the wine nights. The complaints. The basement. The brotchens. The ring. The games. The teasing. The ugly drawings.

The strolls, the smell of the dung, the number of happy dogs and children. The open conversation of birth control, children. The snow and the rain. The old sleighs. The feeling of being young again as the grown-ups watch while we hike the hill in hopes of sliding down the hill. Freezing in soaking jeans while being shown Titisee and it's Kuckucksuhr.

The crepe in Stuttgart. The grey of Stuttgart. Meeting Richard & Josie. If Josie was a person, I reckon she'd also be cool and elegant as her. The EYE, the Mercedes museum. The incredible Technik museum was complete with real planes, where the transportation of it was itself an art. The Concorde. The not-so-kiddy-kiddy-rides, the test stations everywhere.

Heidelberg Castle, knowing that I could tap into that mind place to block out 'tired'. People casually smoke weed on top of the castles. Funny dad saying that it is ok if we didn't include his on in his picture. Being amused in the supermarket and getting drunk and unable to complete the movie with Dom. The 4 poster bed that we did not have sex in. THE SUPERMARKET SHOPPING.

The new year, the wonderful food by Janine. The nice walk. The conversation, the spiritual beliefs, the healing, the baby welcoming talk. Movies together, cleaning together, chilling together. The burning of the old wishes. The penning of the new wishes. The promise to see each other again.

The flight back to Singapore where we fought about the seating arrangement and ended up getting a row to ourselves. (Note to stop debating with Dom this often).

And here we have, the memory that i wish not to forget.

My memories are fading

Things that people talk about us having done together before are completely wiped out from my memory. Michael was talking about how we spent his birthday together with the group at his place @ leonie but I can't recall anything that went on that day.

Or the things that happened in Malaysia, I do recall scaling the batu caves stairs and then what? Perhaps some memory of having oysters and shisha? Michael said we all squeezed into Zack's apartment but how? Where did I sleep?

I am writing this here to come to terms with it and that if I no longer want to forget, i need to write.